your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
