Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
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