Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
