Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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