how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
