But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Randomize
