I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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