You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize