I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
