And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
