he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Send help, water and tortillas.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
