shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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