I love black thongs
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
