Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
