Can i not drive my cunt home
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
