Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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