hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
