dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
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i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
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Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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