Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize