my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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