yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
