I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
