you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
