He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
