we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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