just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She told me I should be a condom model.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
