I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
now i know why i became what i already was.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
