Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
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Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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