just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
