Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
