Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
