hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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