finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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