oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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