I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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