I will die if light touches me.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
