What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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