Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
