FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
party gras won. party gras always wins.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize