you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
So vagazzling was a success
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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