Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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