I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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