She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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