new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
