There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Randomize
