your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
