dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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