she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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