I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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