Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize