like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
