hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
