the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
