You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
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