hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
the raccoons are back...
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