It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
