Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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