he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
