Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
