Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
